Oh, the things you see when you're a Tarnished wandering the shattered plains of the Lands Between! I thought I'd seen it all. I've stared into the abyss of the Frenzied Flame, I've shaken hands with a two-fingered crone, and I've watched a pot come to life and start talking. But nothing, and I mean nothing, prepared me for the day I truly looked at the default club. This wasn't just a hunk of wood for bashing skeletons; it was staring right back at me with a goofy, frog-like grin. My whole perception of FromSoftware's weapon design, a world I've inhabited since 2022, did a complete backflip. Suddenly, my trusty (and admittedly underpowered) bludgeon had a personality, and let me tell you, it's a chatty one.

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When I first stumbled upon this revelation, shared by a fellow Tarnished on Reddit, my jaw hit the floor. I'd been lugging this thing around on my Level 1 Wretch runs for years, using it to bonk my way through Godrick's forces, and I never once noticed its secret admirer. The community went wild! We weren't just seeing a knot in the wood; we were seeing a friend. The comparisons came flooding in faster than a Scarlet Rot swamp:

  • Plank from Ed, Edd n Eddy: The silent, judgmental wooden board with a drawn-on face. My club felt like its mystical, battle-hardened ancestor.

  • Master Oogway from Kung Fu Panda: The wise, ancient turtle. Maybe my club wasn't grinning—maybe it was smirking with the wisdom of the ages, knowing I was about to get crushed by a Runebear.

  • The Wabbajack from Skyrim: That glorious, chaotic staff. While the Wabbajack's face is loud and proud, my club's was a shy secret, a little Easter egg for the truly observant (or, you know, the utterly desperate who stare at their weapon for hours).

But here's the kicker—not all clubs are created equal! Some of my fellow adventurers reported a different expression. Where mine wore a serene, almost blissful smile, theirs bore the visage of a frog screaming in eternal torment. One user put it perfectly: "The poor thing is screaming because it's witnessed a thousand murders at the hands of us Tarnished." Can you blame it? I've used it to clobber everything from gentle, grazing sheep to demigods. It's seen things... horrible things. Maybe my smiling club is just deeply unhinged. That tracks for the Lands Between.

From Zero to Hero: The Club's Unexpected Legacy

Let's be real, this club never made any "Top 10 Strength Weapons" list. While the glorious Shadow of the Erdtree DLC from 2024 blessed us with beasts like the Bloodfiend's Arm, my humble club remained the underdog. But an underdog with a secret face is an underdog with character. And don't let its basic stats fool you. I've seen legends walk these lands. I remember the tale of one absolute madman who, as a Level 1 Wretch, took this very club and... well, he used it to teach Malenia, Blade of Miquella, a lesson in humility. Let that sink in. The weapon everyone overlooks, the one with a silly face, can topple the goddess of rot herself in the right (utterly deranged) hands. That's not just a weapon; that's a statement.

This whole saga got me thinking. As we look ahead, maybe to an Elden Ring sequel in 2026 or beyond, the community's desire for accessibility is louder than ever. Some folks want a path that's more "completionist-friendly," less of a grueling 133-hour odyssey of pain. The fixed difficulty is a hill many will die on—literally and figuratively. But you know what bridges the gap? Moments like this. Discovering a hidden face on a club isn't about difficulty; it's about wonder. It's about the shared, communal experience of noticing the tiny, delightful details that make this world so dense and alive. Whether you're a hardened veteran or a newcomer tentatively testing the waters, we can all agree on one thing: that club has seen some stuff, and it's got the face to prove it. It's my silent partner in crime, my froggy-faced confidant in a world gone mad. And honestly? I wouldn't have it any other way. It's the little things, you know?