Alright, listen up, fellow Tarnished! Before you dismiss this as the ramblings of someone who's taken one too many butt slams to the head, let me assure you: this build is not only viable in the 2026 endgame meta, it's an absolute riot. What started as a meme—a glorious, ground-shaking meme—has evolved into a legitimate way to pancake your way through the Lands Between. The core philosophy is simple: become the heaviest thing possible, then drop that glorious mass onto your enemies like a meteorite made of pure, unadulterated hubris. We're not just playing a game; we're conducting a physics experiment on the structural integrity of demigod skulls.

Our entire existence revolves around the Ground Slam skill. This isn't some fancy, complicated incantation. No, it's beautifully primal. You leap, you tuck, and you bring the full weight of your fashion-choices-cum-armor-plating down with the force of a collapsing dwarf star. Its damage scales directly with your equip load. The heavier you are, the more devastating the impact. Think of it not as an attack, but as a targeted orbital strike launched from your posterior. The 1.07 patch was a godsend, making it faster and deadlier, and it remains a cornerstone of chaos in 2026.

Character Creation: Form Follows Function (The Meme)

For the true connoisseur of chaos, character creation is your first canvas. The goal? Maximize the visual comedy to match the gameplay.

• Top Half: Shrink it. Make your torso and arms look like they belong to a malnourished scribe.

• Bottom Half: Expand it. Pump those legs and glutes until your character looks like they're smuggling two prize-winning pumpkins in their trousers.

The resulting silhouette is less "fearsome warrior" and more "anvils strapped to twigs," which is precisely the point.

Stat Distribution: The Pillars of Heft

Your attributes aren't about finesse; they're about supporting a lifestyle of extreme mass. You need to be able to wear a small fortress and still roll (albeit a medium, ponderous one). Here's the blueprint:

Attribute	Points (Target)	Why?
Vigor	50-60	You will be hit. A lot. Be a tank.
Mind	~20	Enough for buffs like Golden Vow.
Endurance	60 (Soft Cap)	THE most important stat. This is your carry capacity lifeline.
Strength	50-80	Primary scaling for Flame Art infusion and big weapon requirements.
Dexterity	Minimum for weapon	Just enough to hold your stick of choice.
Faith	25-50	Scales Flame Art infusion and unlocks buffs.
Intelligence/Arcane	Base	We don't need smarts, we need MASS.

Pro-Tip: Once you have your final gear set, fine-tune your Endurance to hit the exact threshold for a medium roll. Every point you can spare from Endurance goes straight into Strength for more oomph.

Endgame Gear: Dressing for Success (and Destruction)

This is where the build truly comes to life. Every choice is about adding pounds.

Weapons: To Fist or Not to Fist?

You have two paths, both glorious:

1. The Traditionalist: Wield a weapon so large it defies physics, like the iconic Greatsword. It's heavy, it's mean, and it makes your Ground Slam hit like a freight train falling from the sky.

2. The Purist Memelord: Forgo weapons entirely and embrace fisticuffs. Equip the Star Fist or Spiked Caestus. There's something uniquely hilarious about defeating a god by punching the ground near them so hard they die.

Weapon Setup:

• Ash of War: Slap the Ground Slam (or the holy Golden Slam variant) on your chosen implement of destruction.

• Infusion: Use a Red-Hot Whetblade to give your weapon the Flame Art affinity. This makes it scale with both Strength and Faith, turning your weapon into a double-dipping damage monster.

Talismans: The Engines of Weight

These are non-negotiable for maximizing your slam-tastic potential.

Talisman	Effect	Why It's Essential
Great-Jar's Arsenal	+19% Max Equip Load	The cornerstone. Allows you to wear more metal than a scrap yard.
Axe Talisman	+10% Charged Attack Dmg	Boosts your charged heavy attacks if you need to bonk something the old-fashioned way.
Ritual Sword Talisman	+10% ATK at Full HP	Easy damage boost for when you're stomping through mobs.
Flex Slot	Varies	Options: Erdtree's Favor +2 (more health, stamina, load), Bull-Goat's Talisman (more poise), or Green Turtle Talisman (stamina regen).

Physick Mix: Don't forget the Spiked Cracked Tear for another 15% charged attack boost. Pair it with the Greenburst Crystal Tear for stamina recovery to keep slamming.

Armor: Fashion Souls? More like Tonnage Souls.

The rule is simple: wear the heaviest things you can find. Your armor isn't for defense; it's ammunition.

• The Pinnacle of Mass: The Bull-Goat Set. Wearing this is like piloting a walking siege tower. You will be as maneuverable as a glacier, but your slams will hit with the seismic force of a continental plate shifting.

• The Lighter Alternative: The Lionel's Set. Still gloriously rotund and heavy, but slightly less punishing on your Endurance requirements. It's like trading a battleship for a very heavy cruiser.

Skills and Spells: Buffing the Unbuffable

You're a force of nature, but even a hurricane can be enhanced with the right conditions.

• Essential Buffs:

  • Golden Vow (Ash of War or Incantation): A flat damage and defense increase. Simple, effective.

  • Howl of Shabriri: The high-risk, high-reward option. It boosts your damage significantly but makes you take more. Use it when you need to delete a boss phase, turning your butt slam into a tactical nuke.

Playstyle: The Art of the Slam

Playing this build is a unique rhythm. You are not a nimble duelist; you are a deliberate, overwhelming force. Your gameplay loop looks like this:

1. Approach like a landslide in slow motion.

2. Buff with Golden Vow (and maybe Howl of Shabriri for big moments).

3. Leap with the grace of a falling grand piano.

4. Slam. The world shakes. Health bars vaporize. Poise breaks like dry spaghetti.

5. Repeat.

You are the ultimate area-denial tool. In PvE, you stunlock groups and break boss stances with ease. In PvP (for the brave), you become a zoning nightmare, controlling space with the threat of an instant, fatality-inducing dropkick from above. Your movement is your greatest weakness and your greatest weapon—a deceptive slowness that baits opponents into the kill zone.

So, there you have it. The 2026 Butt Slam Sovereign build. It's inelegant, it's ridiculous, and it's incredibly effective. In a world of complex spell combos and quickstep daggers, sometimes the most profound statement is made by simply sitting down—very, very hard. Now go forth, pack on the pounds, and let the Lands Between feel the weight of your ambition, one seismic crater at a time. 🍑💥