Let me tell you a tale of treachery, survival, and cosmic recurrence! As a seasoned Tarnished who has braved the Lands Between and countless other realms forged by the mad geniuses at FromSoftware, I have encountered a constant, a paradox, a recurring nightmare wrapped in a coward's grin. His name is Patches. You think you know him? You think he's just that bald, sniveling merchant who tried to skewer you in a murky cave over a chest? Oh, my friend, you have barely scratched the surface. This character, this entity, has been a thorn in the side of players for nearly two decades, transcending universes with a consistency that borders on the mythical. In 2026, as we await the next masterpiece from Miyazaki-san, the legend of Patches only grows more profound and perplexing.

My first, fateful meeting with him in Elden Ring was textbook. There I was, a fledgling Tarnished, lured by the siren song of an unopened chest in Murkwater Cave. The moment my greedy hands claimed the treasure, he erupted from the shadows—a whirlwind of spear, shield, and acrid mist! "THIEF!" he screeched, as if he weren't the bandit lurking in a dungeon. Our clash was brutal, but predictable. The moment my blade bit deep and his health bar plummeted, the bravado vanished. He collapsed, begging for mercy with a pathetic whimper that would make a dog ashamed. Of course, I spared him. What followed was a bizarre, transactional relationship across the Shattered Lands. But this wasn't just a Elden Ring quirk. This was a ritual, a play performed across countless stages.

This pattern is his signature, his cursed brand! I've lived it in different skins. In Demon's Souls, he was the cheerful guide who warmly suggested I chase a shiny trinket… right into the clutches of a Minotaur demon. Later, with a friendly chuckle, he booted me into a bottomless pit! In Dark Souls, he tried the pit trick again, the unoriginal scoundrel. By Dark Souls 3, his audacity knew no bounds—he stole another man's armor and pretended to be a pious cleric! Each time, the cycle repeats: Trick, Fight, Surrender, Sell. He's less a character and more a force of nature—the inevitable consequence of a player's curiosity.

Why? Why does he persist? The official tomes are silent, but the clues are in his behavior. His origins are older than the First Flame, older than the Great Ones. He first crawled out in 2008's Armored Core: For Answer as 'Patch the Good Luck,' a mercenary who ambushed mechs and surrendered when cornered. The blueprint was set. He is not bound by world lore, by kingdoms or ages. He is bound by archetype. I believe, with every fiber of my being, that Patches is FromSoftware's incarnation of the Eternal Trickster, a figure woven into the fabric of folklore itself.

Think about it! Every culture has one:

• 🦊 Reynard the Fox from European fables.

• 🐺 Coyote from Indigenous American stories.

• 🕷️ Anansi the Spider from West African and Caribbean lore.

Ah, the spider! His most revealing form was in Bloodborne, where he shed his human skin entirely to become Patches the Spider, a grotesque, chittering horror in the Nightmare Frontier. This cannot be coincidence! It's a direct nod to Anansi, the trickster god who often takes spider form. Patches isn't just in these games; he is a mythological constant that each universe manifests according to its own rules. In the Gothic horror of Yharnam, he's a literal spider. In the feudal Japan of Sekiro, many believe he appears as the shifty, eye-patch-wearing merchant Anayama. The man has no soul to call his own—he is pure archetype!

His true nature is his unwavering personality. Whether he's holding a spear, piloting a mech, or skittering on chitinous legs, his core is immutable:

1. He exploits greed. He knows we can't resist a chest, a shiny item, a 'shortcut.'

2. He is a spectacular coward. His bravery lasts only as long as his advantage.

3. He is a survivor. He always finds a way to end up as a useful merchant, embedding himself in the new world's economy.

4. He holds a grudge against the devout. His hatred for clerics and holy figures is a hilarious, recurring joke.

As of 2026, the mystery remains deliciously unsolved. Will he appear in the rumored Elden Ring expansion, Shadow of the Erdtree? Will he somehow crawl into the sci-fi nightmare of the next Armored Core? I'd bet my best +10 Somber Smithing Stone on it. He is FromSoftware's playful, malicious signature—a secret handshake between the developers and veterans who know to check behind them near any suspicious cliff edge.

So, the next time you see a suspiciously innocent treasure chest in a lonely cave, or a friendly, bald man with a too-wide smile offering you a 'safe' path, remember my words. You are not just encountering an NPC. You are meeting a legend. You are shaking hands with a piece of interactive folklore that has haunted gamers for a generation. Spare him, of course. Buy his wares. And forever watch your back. For Patches is eternal, and pits are everywhere.