So, there I was, casually checking my gaming stats on the PlayStation App the other day, thinking I'd see a number that reflects my very real, albeit slightly embarrassing, dedication to Elden Ring. Imagine my surprise when the app cheerfully informed me that I have clocked in a cool 939,110 hours in the mystical realm of The Lands Between. For those of you who, unlike me, haven't spent an eternity there, that's roughly 107 years of playtime. I nearly choked on my Flask of Crimson Tears. I haven't even been alive that long! This monumental, and obviously erroneous, statistic has turned me into an overnight internet sensation within the Elden Ring community, sparking a wave of hilarious reactions and theories. It seems my PlayStation App decided to grant me the ultimate, if buggy, achievement: becoming the Tarnished who outlived the Erdtree itself.
This whole saga began when I, GrandTheftMeme (as known on Reddit), decided to check my stats. Elden Ring, that masterpiece from FromSoftware that took the world by storm back in 2022, has been a constant companion. Its popularity has only soared, especially with the stellar Shadow of the Erdtree expansion that dropped in mid-2024. Even wrestling icons like Randy Orton have sung its praises! While I've certainly poured my fair share of hours into Hidetaka Miyazaki's challenging world—with three separate save files totaling a more reasonable 566, 40, and 1 hour respectively—nothing prepared me for this chronological catastrophe.
I have a sneaking suspicion about the origin of this temporal tomfoolery. A few months back, I used a USB drive to transfer some PlayStation save data. Ever since that little operation, my playtime records have been... creative. Back in July 2024, the app briefly told me I'd played for 458,484 hours. I thought it was a one-off glitch, a fleeting moment of digital dementia. But no, the bug was merely resting, gathering strength for its next assault. Now, it has proudly boosted my fictional marathon to nearly a million hours. I guess my character isn't just Tarnished; he's practically a geological feature by now.
The reactions from fellow Redditors were an absolute treasure trove of comedy gold. One user, referencing the starting area, quipped: "After so many years of preparation, you are finally ready to take on Limgrave, don't you think?" Another, with classic gamer bravado, looked at my 107 years and dismissively called them "Rookie numbers." My personal favorite was the deeply philosophical question posed to a century-old Tarnished: "Did you find your maiden yet?" After all that time, you'd hope so, but knowing this game, she's probably still hiding behind some obscure, rune-locked door.
| My Actual Playtime | The App's Imaginary Playtime | Equivalent Real-World Time |
|---|---|---|
| ~607 hours | 939,110 hours | ~107 years |
| Three save files | One buggy database entry | From the Victorian era to today |
| A dedicated fan | A living legend (in app lore) | Multiple human lifetimes |
While I'm busy contemplating my virtual immortality, the rumor mill about Elden Ring's future is churning. With the base game and its DLC being such massive hits, whispers suggest FromSoftware might be cooking up a "definitive edition" for the next generation of Nintendo consoles. Given that Nintendo has promised to reveal its Switch successor by March 2025, the timing is juicy. Imagine, after all this time—both real and app-inflated—Nintendo players might finally get to experience the Lands Between for themselves. Maybe by then, the PlayStation App will have corrected my stats, or perhaps it will have decided I've been playing since the dawn of the Age of Fracture. Only time, both real and buggy, will tell.
In the end, this whole experience has been a riot. It's a perfect example of how even in our meticulously tracked digital lives, a little chaos—a software gremlin, a corrupted data point—can create a legendary story. So, if you see someone with more playtime than your great-grandparents had life experience, don't be too impressed. They might just be the lucky beneficiary of a hilarious glitch. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have about 106 years and 364 days of catching up to do... or maybe I'll just wait for the app to fix itself. 🤣